October 10th 2020 is World Mental Health Day! I would like to share something with you about this topic. Mental health is something that is sometimes overlooked, or downplayed. I love a subreddit called “thanks I’m cured” where people post things or quotes that are examples of toxic positivity. Meant well, of course, but not received well. Like telling people with chronic depression to ‘just go outside more’ when they struggle to even get out of bed.
The Psychology Group says: “We define toxic positivity as the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.” I will now give an example of that.
Stronger
I read this quote on Facebook that states you should be happy for all the bad things in your life, because they made you stronger. The intentions of this post are very good, I believe, but this quote is simply not the case for some people. Should you be happy if you are ever to get in a car accident, or your pet dies, or someone you love betrays you? Do you have to aknowledge how that is good just because it made you stronger in the end? It might have made you stronger, but the fact is that you can feel upset it happens. You may have bad feelings.
Denying people’s feelings is where it all goes wrong. It is perfectly fine to be not fine. You don’t have to be happy all the time! There are times or moments that just simply suck. No need to downplay them. What does matter here is your response. Some people get stuck in this negative thinking cycle, and that is not good. But in no means is it okay to say “you shouldn’t feel like this”.
My own words
I had some bad moments in my life. I have felt depressed. But I found help and now see the world better. People now call me the most positive person they know. But I definitely needed help before I could reach that level. It is okay to get help. It is okay to share your feelings with the people around you. It is okay to find ways to love yourself.
I have had a huge support from music. It may sound silly, but I can cry if the lyrics hit me right. I am a huge fan of electronic music and YES that can be emotional! Music has helped me through a breakup and through feeling depressed. But it also had my back when I was in love. I even had a song lyric on my wedding party invitation. Here it is:
Treasure is measured in units of love
Above and Beyond – Treasure
Which means you may find you are rich
Beyond your wildest dreams
Although the party is postponed until next year, I got many reactions from friends and family on what a beautiful quote it is. It is something I still live by every day. You can feel very rich if you are surrounded by people you love!
Some advise
I would like to give a little tip for some extra positivity in your life. Write 3 things each day that you are grateful for. It can be as simple as having a roof above your head. Or that you ate delicious food today! It helps you find the things in life you are grateful for. 🙂
I hope you all have a wonderful day and enjoyed reading this.
- Alissa